Star Trek Fic: So Wise We Grow, master post

Title: So Wise We Grow
Author: Deastar ( captanddeastar )
Artist: brynnamorgan
Mixer: summerslaughter
Series: ST XI
Characters/Pairings: Kirk/Spock, Ensemble
Rating: R
Word Count: 81,000
Warnings: death of minor characters, discussion of past child sexual abuse
Betas: peganix , Captain T
Notes: Thank you to my partner in crime, Captain T; my amazing beta, peganix ; the super-talented brynnamorgan and summerslaughter ; and last but not least, the stbigbang mods!
Summary: “Commander Spock, we have located your son,” the Vulcan lady on the screen says, which would be great, except Jim can tell by the look on Spock’s face that he’s never heard of this kid before in his life. “If it is expedient, the child will be sent to join you on the Enterprise within the week.”


Part:  one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven | twelve

or read at the Archive of Our Own

or download entire fic as a pdf

click to view full-size artwork

click to view tracklist or download


ETA: Now with additional fanart from WufeiWinner!

I am so EXCITED!!!!

I wish I had time to read it now! Why do you tantalize me before work!?!?!
Oh, nice! Tell me, would you consider making it available in a single file like .doc, .pdf, .rtf or .txt? That would be really great for a lot of readers, including myself, who find those easier to read for a variety of reasons.
That's a really good point - thank you for reminding me. Hopefully I will have a .doc available on this post for download by the end of the day - if not, then definitely tomorrow.
I'm not generally a big K/S fan, but I loved this story. It's wonderful to see the evolution of all of their relationships, and Storek is such an adorable little Vulcan. :-)

I downloaded the PDF, by the way, thanks for doing the single document form since the story's so long. Much appreciated.
Oh, good, I'm so glad somebody downloaded the pdf! I'm so happy to hear that you liked the story even though you're not a K/S fan - thank you for taking a chance on it, and for commenting!
I had been spending the last nights digging through your novel (here via rec of blue_meridian) and gods , this story was MARVELOUS !!!
I liked the new trek movie very much, but otherwise, I am usually too engaged in Merlin fandom, but this story was totally worth neglected my main fandoms!!
its brilliant, you had perfect voices for all of them, Spock, Kirk, sarek, and storek, and OMG EVERYBODY ELSE SO PERFECT!
if every story in nu!trek would be that good, I could be tempted to leave clex and merlin :D
your humor, your build up, all the scenarios!!
I took the PDF file as well, so when I next have the chance, I will print it out, and can hug the story forever :)
First of all, can I say: Oh my god, you're in Merlin fandom, too?! I thought I was like the only person in the world who had the Merlin and Star Trek fandoms in common - they seem weirdly mutually exclusive. Yay, I'm so excited!

I'm so glad you liked the story - at least for long enough to temporarily lure you away from your other fandoms! Thank you for leaving such a lovely comment, and I'm especially glad to hear that someone else found the PDF useful, that is good to know!
Hi, I plan on making a LRF version of your story for me to read it's not hard from there to also create a mobi/epub version. Would you like me to share the ebook formatted story back with you when I'm done? PDF isn't as friendly to read on portable devices like the Sony PRS or Amazon Kindle.

Your story sounds very good! and I look forward to reading it. :)
Wow, that sounds great! Yes, absolutely, I'd really appreciate it if you shared that with me when you're done, so I can make it available to more people. Thank you for offering - I hope you enjoy the story!
This is GLORIOUS. Just fantastic, from start to finish. You've masterfully captured Kirk and Spock's voices in both POVs, and your depiction of every character is just spot-on. (Kirk's voice is hilarious -- that's the captain in all his wiseass awesomeness.) Storek is a likeable, interesting character in his own right, and I love seeing the changes he causes within Kirk and Spock and between them. And you handled the issue of Kirk's past beautifully, clearly illustrating its effects on Kirk while acknowledging his strength and resilience in not allowing it to rule his life. This is a wonderfully sympathetic and fully rounded portrayal of all the characters, especially Kirk and Spock; I kept wanting to hit them with the clue bus, but at the same time, the ride was so much fun that I just didn't want it to end. Thank you so much for this, it's a terrific tale that I will revisit often.

ETA: I neglected to mention how much I appreciated your uploading this in a PDF; it's a wonderful time- and effort-saver, especially for a story of this length and quality, as I will want to save this to reread again and again.

Edited at 2009-11-02 07:15 am (UTC)
Wow, thank you! This is a very kind comment, and it makes me so happy to see that the things that I tried to get across with this story worked for you! I'm especially glad that you liked Kirk's voice - I had a lot of help there from my beta, since his was the POV I had the most trouble with. I hope that you will enjoy this fic just as much when you revisit it in the future - thank you for this lovely comment!
Amazing story! Loved it, and greatly appreciated the pdf version!
Thank you! I'm glad to see that people are using the PDF version - I can understand why it's needed, since this fic is such a monster :D
I just finished the story (which I started based on a rec from blue_meridian) and have added you as a friend. I would be loathe to miss another story by you. This one captivated me in all ways.
I found this by accident, someone I know tweeted that she was reading it at the worst possibly time for a fic of this length but couldn't stop and, well, it intrigued me so I started to read.

And oh my word, Valen's name, is this fic FANTASTIC. Bookmarked it on delicious and gushed profusely about it, lol. Your fic some how manages to be both a romance, completely in character and not over the top or even very sweet and at the same time feels good. I laughed, I got worried an drawn in, I rolled my eyes at them and everything in the middle.

It struck me that, in some ways, it reminds me of A Beautiful Lifetime Event by Astolat, from the SGA fandom, in that though it is so different in a lot of ways it has this cord of unacknowledged family and love through it for the longest time. And that's one of my fave fics of all time, so it's a good thing to be reminded of it. But as I say, it is very very different in a lot of other ways that make it work for these characters, this movie and...

In any case, I love it to death. And as a life long Trekkie who rarely reads enough Trek fic, it is a massive treat. So thank you for writing and publishing it!
Thank you for this lovely comment!

You're actually not the first person to make the comparison to A Beautiful Lifetime Event, which is incredibly flattering to me, since that's actually one of my absolute favorite stories, too, and I thought about it frequently while writing this fic. I'm so glad that you enjoyed this story - thank you so much for taking to the time to leave such a wonderful comment!
You are, without a doubt, my absolute favorite author recently.

I was planning on going to sleep early, but 3 hours later I finished this fic. I am completely floored. This was absolutely amazing. Standby for rampant fangirling, in three, two, one...

*SAREK is my absolute favorite. Had this been the Oscars, I have no doubt he would have won for Best Supporting Actor. Oddly enough, he often served as a comic relief for the scene. Also, I enjoy the way his character is now: like the other Vulcans, you can see how weary he is after the destruction of his world (and his planet). In addition, we can see just how he has been a successful diplomat for so many years. Without our omniscient viewpoint we would be just the characters: hard-pressed to see the subtleties in Sarek's questions, tone, comments, and what he does not say.

*K/S in one of the slowest moving forms ever. It was completely believable the way they eased into their relationship. It's not that either of their personalities changed, but they learned how to coexist in professional, parental, and personal capacities.

*Abused!Jim can go either way with me, but this fic dealt with his trauma in a logical way. There was no magic wand that made him forgive his mother and put aside the past. Also, his experiences and support from though outside of him helped him move past the major issues.

*Virgin!Spock is another one. Rather than having everything be about sex, this fic didn't deal with his virginity as a major problem, plot-point, or focus. It wasn't ignored, but Jim didn't think " a virgin!" every time he met with Spock.

*Storek. What a fascinating OC. Everything was handled marvelously. I don't think anyone would think that his situation was easy, so it was logical that he didn't succumb to his parents right away.

*Everything else. Just...that. Yeah.
:D Thank you so much! Fangirling is always much appreciated.

I have a major soft spot for Sarek, and I'm glad that this fic is helping other people feel the Sarek love.

I was worried that people would find the K/S romance too slow-moving and get bored, but I'm glad that people actually seem to like it, and I'm happy to see that you liked it, too.

Hah! I know what you mean about Jim didn't think " a virgin!" every time he met with Spock. In some fics, it really is like:
"And this is my First Officer, Commander Virgin... I mean, Spock."
"Wow, Spock, you beat me at chess again. Pretty good, for a virgin."
"It looks like this planet is uninhabited. Spock, in your expert virgin opinion, do you concur?"
Anyway, I'm glad that this didn't go there in your eyes. ;)

I'm so glad that you enjoyed the story, and that you took the time to leave such a thoughtful and detailed comment. Thanks again!
Thank you so much for providing a single-file version! I look forward to reading it. :)
oh, YAY. I am SOOOOOO downloading the pdf! THANK YOU!


There are a lot of us SPNers in Star Trek fandom - probably because Castiel is secretly a Vulcan. :D

I am very excited about this comment, because I've never gotten a comment with sparkles or great big font size before! It is very impressive. Also, your icon makes me laugh A LOT.

I'm so glad that you enjoyed the fic! Thank you for leaving such a bright and shiny commment!


(seriously, my brain exploded multiple times, I'm surprised I can still type. thank you for this. it wins forever, and it now lives on my desktop.)

Wow, thank you! I hope your brain recovers soon... Thank you for this lovely comment - I'm glad you enjoyed the story!
I really loved this story. Sorry, I took a sinus pill so all I can really think of is *AAAWWWWW* and *LOVELOVELOVELOVE*. Not the height of literary criticism, but perhaps appropriate.
LOL - I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and that's all that matters. Thank you for letting me know you liked it!
can't seem to get the PDF download to work. I've rightclicksaved, and I've clicked through, but neither gets me to the goods. :(
I just yesterday discovered Star Trek Big Bang. This is the first story I've read. This story made me very happy. My mental image kept flickering between ST09 Kirk and Spock and TOS Kirk and Spock, and they both worked. I really liked the way you brought life to the minor characters whenever they were on screen. I loved Storek, and I was particularly touched by the interactions between Spock and Sarek. At the risk of insulting an entire species, you brought such humanity to all three Vulcans -- father, son, and grandson. Huzzah!
I'm so glad you liked this story - and I'm especially glad to hear that you felt it worked for either TOS or ST09 versions of Kirk and Spock! Thank you for commenting!
Absolutely wonderful! I loved the character development and the build-up of the Spock/Jim relationship and their relationship with Storek. I think I had a smile on my face most of the time as I was reading. This was a truly enjoyable read.:-)
thankyou thankyou thankyou
I haven't read yet, but have heard raves -- and I came to just thank you for providing a "download the whole thing" link!!!!
You've probably heard this from everyone and their mother, but this fic was absolutely amazing.
I read the pdf yesterday in six hours (even though I had homework and I stayed three hours past when I had plan to go to bed because I simply could not stop reading), and sleep-deprived as I might be I regret nothing. XP
Awesome, lovely fic.
I hope eventually you got some sleep and got your homework done! I'm really glad that you enjoyed this fic so much, and that you took the time to leave such a lovely comment!
I really liked the story and your characterisations! Oblivious boys so make me happy, and the kid was a riot. Excellent job, and thanks for sharing!
Hiya, Deastar. I was up bleary-eyed but captivated all hours of the night last night reading your wonderful fic. Loved it, loved it, loved it. Little Storek was heartbreaking and charming and never stopped being completely Vulcan for even one second. How fitting that he would bond first with his mother, Kirk. BTW, Nu!Kirk with his easy sexuality, colossal but endearing ego, and endlessly snarky and self-deprecating smart-ass dialogue is beginning to overtake Classic!Kirk in my affections. Amazing, but true from this old, grizzled Trek veteran.

Given what we saw of Spock's childhood, I don't blame Storek for not wanting to be sent to New Vulcan just to have the misery begin all over again. Life on board the Enterprise with his two new daddies is infinitely preferable. A body has to learn how to cheat at cards somewhere.

Any plans to revisit Storek? I'd love to find out if Kirk got that new baby and how Star Fleet training went for Storek and if he ever made a love connection of his own.

Thumbs up for offering this story in PDF format. Made reading much smoother process. Double (and triple) thumbs up for this fic. I tend to dwell in Kirk/McCoy and Kirk/Spock/McCoy territory but this joins the ranks of yet another terrific Kirk/Spock fic. Do write more. You're really good at it. :o)
Nu!Kirk is a winner for sure! He was so much fun to write, so I'm glad that you liked him in this story!

Someday I might take a look at the future adventures of Storek, but I don't think it's likely anytime soon, if ever. Just imagine him becoming best friends with Joanna McCoy and falling in love with a kickass Orion freedom fighter, and you'll be pretty close to where I see him ending up. :)

I'm glad you found the PDF useful, and I'm happy to hear that this fic lured you away from your main pairings just for a while. Thanks for taking the time to leave such a lovely comment - I really appreciate it!
Oh wow! This was epic! I adored the entire premise and you executed exceptionally well!

I loved the UST and how it colored their entire relationship.

Thank you so much for creating a PDF of this. It's my preferred way to read long fic!
I'm glad you found the PDF useful! It's so good to hear that you enjoyed the story - thank you for commenting!